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This 4 oz bag has heaped a world of math on my head.

For the sake of counting calories: 1 bag = 520 calories; which after much restraint (ha!) I managed to consume in 1 hour. After some research I learned (based on my weight and height) the following facts:

~ 15 minutes of foreplay will burn 22 calories & 15 minutes of sexual intercourse will burn 64 calories = 86 total calories burned.  In one hour I can potentially burn 172 calories. This means that in just over 3 hours I can burn the 520 calories I consumed. Hmm… time does fly when you are having fun. Note to self: Find tantric sex manual.

~ Running at 5 mph for 60 minutes will burn 518 calories. Given my past running history, that is between a 5 or 6 mile run during the dreaded peak bird nesting season (for those keeping tabs, it begins mid-March and ends mid-July) — this option is not likely given the hostile running conditions around my house.

~ A 60 minute conversation (or 60 minutes of reading) burns about 64 calories. At that rate, I need someone who is willing to speak to me for over 8 hours before I can burn those 520 calories. Not likely.

Using the “calories burned” calculator at http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/cbc, I found a more realistic schedule:

30 minute jog = 214 calories

20 minutes mopping floors = 91 calories

30 minutes of housework = 89 calories

15 minute shower = 64 calories

15 minutes of foreplay = 22 calories

15 minutes of sex = 64 calories

30 minutes of reading = 32 calories

Bingo! 576 calories burned.

June 15, 2010