I have much to say.
This blog was launched on a random post about a bird attack. That first “when birds attack” moment I experienced (and each I’ve since experienced) has been the source of much derision principally from my supportive husband and fellow 4girls members. I know it is random coincidence coupled with a dash of justifiable paranoia that has led me to publicly run for cover when I think I’ve made contact with a crow or mockingbird.
Here’s the thing: I didn’t imagine my near injurious bird attack. In the spring of 2009, during my running season, I was swooped at by birds nearly every time I stepped out for my runs. Unwilling to forego my runs at the hands of crazy birds, I took to dragging my reluctant husband for those runs — the thinking being that his height would be considered more threatening to birds, and therefore, I’d run safely. Unfortunately this didn’t work out as my husband had neither the desire or will to run. Early on he correctly predicted this form of marital support was ill-conceived and would contribute to irreversible co-dependency.
Over these last two years, I’ve had my share of traumatic encounters with these damn birds. Most often it happens when I am running. I concluded last year that springtime must be their nesting season and as such, I avoid certain areas on account of them. Just this week, as I walked from my office to my car, a mockingbird once again swooped and squawked as I got into my car. It actually flung its 2 lb body against my car and as I sat and watched, it settled on the grass, right beside my door, and squawked a litany of what I can only describe as high-pitched bird curse words.
I drove away seriously questioning my sanity and knew that once I shared my encounter with B he would say or do one of two things: a) sympathetically roll his eyes and change the channel, or b) once again ask me why I fear a two-pound bird who CANNOT harm me.
I’ve asked fellow runners and the brave souls that walk their kids to school (through those very sidewalks that shelter the source of my consternation) if they’ve ever been attacked. I can honestly say that not one person has ever experienced it. Not one.
Why have I alone been targeted?
At last, photographic and scientific proof of what’s happened to me. It turns out these birds can sense fear, just like dogs, and once the breed identifies you as a threat, they can mark you in a crowd and antagonize you, while leaving other humans unperturbed.
It’s comforting to know I am a moving target.