Hairy Belly & Cymbals
Jen: Oh yes, I forgot about that little side effect. The light downy hair on the belly happened to me. Still have it. Drives me nuts.
Lela: Kangaroo??? Sounds more like ape.
Sibby: I think you are both creeps. Every time I mention something you say “Oh yes, I had that.” Just tell me now all the awful things that are going to happen to me!
Lela: We only remember them after you point them out.
Jen: Let’s see: leg cramps, piercing shooting pain in the groin, increased libido, decreased libido, dehydration, anxiety, sleepiness, irritability, forgetfulness, inability to express myself, strange red spots on skin, hair in unexpected places, voluminous boobs, swelling in third trimester (hands and feet), pregnancy stains on face, wacked out hair that never self corrected, extreme nesting desire, bleeding gums, out of breath…quite a bit actually, frequent bedtime urination (but not at any other time), stretch marks, distorted belly button, enlarged nipples, itchiness around abdomen. Thankfully all items listed above did not happen at the same time.
Lela: Add weepiness, extreme giddiness (sometimes at the same time), vulnerability and feelings of extreme power (ditto as to same time), exaggerated nail growth, heartburn, inability to sleep, inability to stay awake, dizziness, feeling full but being hungry (all the time), consuming entire seafood at all-you-can-eat bars (but that’s probably just me), belly itchiness, feeling like my legs were still walking even when in bed, and, towards the end, paralyzing fear that my water was going to break in the courtroom.
Jen: Ditto!!! Especially that weird restless leg syndrome (which, by the way, B by proxy, still suffers). Can’t say I shared the seafood addiction. Did have a daily craving for Twizzlers and Pop Tarts. Abhorred (and still do) the smell of Boston Chicken. Makes me want to gag.
Sibby: Great. Just Great.
Lela: Hated the leg thing!!!! Nothing makes that stop!! No to Twizzlers and Pop Tarts… substitute splash cooler Capri Sun and Taco Bell. Stale chewing gum made me wretch. I would have to instantly pull it out of my mouth or puke. You’d think I would just have stopped chewing it in the first place…. did I mention forgetfulness?
Sibby: I have to clip my nails almost hourly. I am like that woman who had nails that grew into curly cues! I also feel full and hungry all the time. Speaking of dizziness…. the first time I experienced it was on Saturday. I was waiting and got really hot and started seeing spots and got tunnel vision. I stumbled over to J who was buying tickets and told him I was going to faint and promptly sat down on the floor and stayed there in case I did faint.Then I thought I was going to throw up right there and then it passed. Is that what you mean?
Lela: Exactly! It is a ridiculous, sudden onset of exaggerated head rush. I actually fell over one time. The thud sound was deafening because I couldn’t even put my hands up in time. I didn’t know which way was up.
Sibby: It was awful and scary because of course I thought I was a) going into labor in the movie theatre in South Beach on a Saturday night, and I kept thinking about was how un-cool it would look and how I didn’t have the right shoes on because all the hip women were wearing slouchy boots with no heels; and, b) I was dying and J would be on the Today show the next morning and would certainly not wear the right outfit. These were really my thoughts.
Lela: Wouldn’t want to give birth or die without the slouchy boots… Should we blog this?
Jen: YES! If you were here I’d hug you. I’m already clapping madly!!!!
Lela: Like a darn chimp with cymbals no doubt.
Sibby: Now for the rest of the day I won’t be able to stop imagining Jen in one of those outfits like a street performing monkey, clapping cymbals.
Lela: Takes one to know one, hairy belly.
January 6, 2010